Recent quotes I came across in the news. The first four (read in a group) are classic. Unfortunately, they're the only ones that I have been able to verify independently (and perhaps the fifth, but read for yourself):
"The insurgency in Iraq is in its last throes."
~ Dick Cheney (June 22, 2005 - not sure of the exact date, to be honest)
"I believe there are more foreign fighters coming into Iraq than there were six months ago... in terms of the overall strength of the insurgency, I'd say it was the same as it was (six months ago)... I don't know that I would make any comment about that (Cheney's comment above), other than to say that there's a lot of work to be done on the insurgency. I'm sure you'll forgive me for criticizing the vice president."
~ General John Abizaid, Head of US Central Command (June 23, 2005)
"If you look up 'last throes,' it can mean a violent last throe."
~ Donald Rumsfeld (June 25, 2005, ABC Interview)
"We're not going to win against the insurgency. The Iraqi people are going to win against the insurgency. That insurgency could go on for any number of years. Insurgencies tend to go on five, six, eight, 10, 12 years."
~ Donald Rumsfeld (June 25, 2005, SAME ABC Interview as the quote above it. Awfully long violent last throe, isn't it Donny? I think you call that CIVIL WAR)
" I know where Bin Laden is, but I'm not going to tell you. And no, I'm not going to catch him either."
~ Porter Goss, Director of the CIA (June 21, 2005, Sadly, this one is almost true. CNN.com put it this way: "CIA Director Porter Goss says he has an "excellent idea" where Osama bin Laden is hiding, but that the al Qaeda chief will not be caught until weak links in the war on terrorism are strengthened."
I like my way better.)
"Insurgency be damned. We don't know where Bin Laden is. Now leave us alone, but keep giving us money."
~ Pakistan
"Nobody wants to play with me. Or give me money. Or hunt for Bin Laden on my soil. :("
~ India
"HEY! Pay attention to me! I'm actually uprooting settlements! I'm going to displace 150 people in a pathetic attempt to atone for over 50 years of ruthless persecution! Pat on the back please!"
~ Israel
"*sigh* Death to Israel... or something."
~ Palestine
"Why, Henman, Why!!?? Oh, and the invasion was a bunch of jolly old rot, but we'll re-elect Blair anyway"
~ United Kingdom
"Woohoo! Death to America!"
~ Iran
"Holy crap! What have we done??"
~ Rest of Iran
"Y'allz still want the nukes, right?"
~ Russia, to Iran
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Traffic Lights: Here and There
So on the way back to campus today, all the major traffic lights and streetlights on Stewart Street were out. Now that I've laid the foundation of my story, here we go:
Traffic Lights Go Out in America:
Drivers slow down. Pedestrians, commuters and travellers look at one another anxiously. Is everything alright? Maybe it's terrorism? Drivers proceed throuogh intersections highly alert and incredibly aware of everything around them. Drive. Stop. Look right. Look left. Look right again. Look left again. Drive. Breathe sigh of relief. Emergency crews are on the scene in seconds. Temporary stops signs are erected at each corner of the crossing. Some semblance of normality returns. Drivers show utmost respect for the stop signs. Everyone takes care moving through the intersection. Users of the road show patience and courtesy. Highly civilized. Very safe, secure. Serene almost.
Traffic Lights go out in Pakistan:
No one pays attention to them when they're working anyway. No change noted.
Now that's not completely true. But still, good story. Or story-like posting.
Traffic Lights Go Out in America:
Drivers slow down. Pedestrians, commuters and travellers look at one another anxiously. Is everything alright? Maybe it's terrorism? Drivers proceed throuogh intersections highly alert and incredibly aware of everything around them. Drive. Stop. Look right. Look left. Look right again. Look left again. Drive. Breathe sigh of relief. Emergency crews are on the scene in seconds. Temporary stops signs are erected at each corner of the crossing. Some semblance of normality returns. Drivers show utmost respect for the stop signs. Everyone takes care moving through the intersection. Users of the road show patience and courtesy. Highly civilized. Very safe, secure. Serene almost.
Traffic Lights go out in Pakistan:
No one pays attention to them when they're working anyway. No change noted.
Now that's not completely true. But still, good story. Or story-like posting.
Monday, June 20, 2005
UDF, Brits
So it's been a while.
Before I talk about anything else, you need to stretch out with your peelings. Just click on the link. Trust me, you'll be happy you did.
Did you know United Dairy Farmers (bear in mind, DAIRY) doesn't even stock plain yogurt? Clay, Sonia and I went to this Indian restaurant where the spiciness scale was so out of whack, we could barely taste our food because of the burning (ala Ralph Wiggum and "It tastes like burning!"). Anyway, I figured some Yogurt mixed with the chilis that were a poor substitute for rice would help temper somewhat the sensation of having my tongue ripped out every time a grain crossed my lips. So, off to UDF I went. I searched for the yogurt that would, could and should invariably be found at any self-respecting DAIRY store. I questioned a store attendant and she helpfully suggested strawberry flavored yogurt. And this is AFTER I explained to her the whole chili and rice and why I need plain yogurt story. Some people...
On a side, UDF is also directly responsible for having my car towed on the campus of the Ohio State University (and the $109.40 I had to pay to get it back). Needless to say, they will not be grateful recipients of my patronage for quite some time to come. Speedway Forever! UDF Never!
So the Brits had cold feet before the Iraq war, or so say 8 Secret and Confidential memos leaked to the press by some fellow in the British government. The memos are genuine apparently, but dear God, the Brits are such spineless morons. SIX months (not a year, not 2 years, SIX months) after September 11, 2001, Condoleezza Rice was in London discussing not Bin Laden, not the Taliban, but frickin IRAQ. Now think back to March, 2002. Was Iraq even at the back of your mind? No. Bin Laden was. As was the war in Afghanistan, which, for all intents and purposes, is still ongoing. 194 US servicemembers have died there, almost 50 more than the first Gulf War that created all that hoohah. But no one cares. Scores of young Americans and Iraqis alike are being led to their deaths on the whims of a powerful, short-sighted and perenially stupid few. It's enough to make your toes curl (and not in a good way either).
Anyway, so these memos are freely available online and at the AP website. Listen to some of these quotes:
"The truth is that what has changed is not the pace of Saddam Hussein's WMD programs, but our tolerance of them post-11 September."
"If 11 September had not happened, it is doubtful that the U.S. would now be considering military action against Iraq. In addition, there has been no credible evidence to link Iraq with OBL (Osama bin Laden) and al-Qaida."
"We have also to answer the big question — what will this action achieve? There seems to be a larger hole in this than on anything."
Everything that is now apparent, the Brits knew BEFORE the war. Yet they went ahead with it anyway. What a bunch of pansies. Idiotic pansies. Tea-drinking, idiotic pansies. Tea-drinking, Queen-loving, idiotic pansies. Yeah.
I have little or no patience now for anyone who continues to preach the complete and utter righteousness of the actions of their government. EVERY goverment has its faults. Open your eyes. And grow a brain.
That is all.
For now.
Before I talk about anything else, you need to stretch out with your peelings. Just click on the link. Trust me, you'll be happy you did.
Did you know United Dairy Farmers (bear in mind, DAIRY) doesn't even stock plain yogurt? Clay, Sonia and I went to this Indian restaurant where the spiciness scale was so out of whack, we could barely taste our food because of the burning (ala Ralph Wiggum and "It tastes like burning!"). Anyway, I figured some Yogurt mixed with the chilis that were a poor substitute for rice would help temper somewhat the sensation of having my tongue ripped out every time a grain crossed my lips. So, off to UDF I went. I searched for the yogurt that would, could and should invariably be found at any self-respecting DAIRY store. I questioned a store attendant and she helpfully suggested strawberry flavored yogurt. And this is AFTER I explained to her the whole chili and rice and why I need plain yogurt story. Some people...
On a side, UDF is also directly responsible for having my car towed on the campus of the Ohio State University (and the $109.40 I had to pay to get it back). Needless to say, they will not be grateful recipients of my patronage for quite some time to come. Speedway Forever! UDF Never!
So the Brits had cold feet before the Iraq war, or so say 8 Secret and Confidential memos leaked to the press by some fellow in the British government. The memos are genuine apparently, but dear God, the Brits are such spineless morons. SIX months (not a year, not 2 years, SIX months) after September 11, 2001, Condoleezza Rice was in London discussing not Bin Laden, not the Taliban, but frickin IRAQ. Now think back to March, 2002. Was Iraq even at the back of your mind? No. Bin Laden was. As was the war in Afghanistan, which, for all intents and purposes, is still ongoing. 194 US servicemembers have died there, almost 50 more than the first Gulf War that created all that hoohah. But no one cares. Scores of young Americans and Iraqis alike are being led to their deaths on the whims of a powerful, short-sighted and perenially stupid few. It's enough to make your toes curl (and not in a good way either).
Anyway, so these memos are freely available online and at the AP website. Listen to some of these quotes:
"The truth is that what has changed is not the pace of Saddam Hussein's WMD programs, but our tolerance of them post-11 September."
"If 11 September had not happened, it is doubtful that the U.S. would now be considering military action against Iraq. In addition, there has been no credible evidence to link Iraq with OBL (Osama bin Laden) and al-Qaida."
"We have also to answer the big question — what will this action achieve? There seems to be a larger hole in this than on anything."
Everything that is now apparent, the Brits knew BEFORE the war. Yet they went ahead with it anyway. What a bunch of pansies. Idiotic pansies. Tea-drinking, idiotic pansies. Tea-drinking, Queen-loving, idiotic pansies. Yeah.
I have little or no patience now for anyone who continues to preach the complete and utter righteousness of the actions of their government. EVERY goverment has its faults. Open your eyes. And grow a brain.
That is all.
For now.
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