8 Simple Rules...

8 Simple Rules for Driving in Karachi

1. Always assume you have right of way. If you don't, someone else will. And you won't be home in time for your infant's 18th birthday.

2. Honk (toot your horn) whenever you feel like it, but ESPECIALLY when it serves no purpose. Like in hospital zones. Or in your driveway.

3. Do not use your turn signals (indicators). If you use your turn signals (indicators), you're a pretentious jerk who thinks he or she is better than everyone else.
(For the record, I do use my turn signals. But then we all know I am a pretentious jerk, so it's alright.)

4. Do not stop at red lights. Stopping at red lights unnecessarily compromises the safety of those behind you trying to run the light.

5. Ignore all speed limits. The traffic policemen have no radar guns. And if they do, their 70 cc motorcycles aren't going to get them very far anyway. They aren't going to chase you. And if they do, they'll give up soon enough. Besides, it's fun.

6. Stop for crossing pedestrians. Unless you don't feel like it. In which case either
a) Run them over (Half the time the morons deserve it.)
b) Honk loudly and glare as you fly past them (They should be grateful you didn't run them over.)

7. Prepare to be blamed for everything, especially accidents. If you get hit, even while stationary in a designated parking spot, you obviously weren't paying attention.

8. Yelling and cursing is expected and appreciated.

Mercy is for the weak.