Friday, December 15, 2006

I'm So Annoyed

So I am seriously annoyed (Annoy is the blogword of the week, by the way) by

People who “know” they’re going to Heaven
This goes for anyone who thinks this but is directed mainly towards the Christian types. For crying out loud, who died and made you Jesus?

...Was that an inappropriate comment? No… I don’t think so… gosh, I hope not. Clearly, I am NOT fortunate enough to know I am going to Heaven. Otherwise I would not be wasting valuable time worrying over the appropriateness of my blog postings. I’d be Heaven bound… F**k s**t c**k b**ch!! It doesn’t matter!! I can say what I want because I am going to HEAVEN!! F**k s**t c**k b**ch again!!!!!

People who type “your” when they mean “you’re” and “their” when they mean “there” or “they’re” or any combination of the three.
Seriously people, this is the 21st century. If you’re on a computer, go to www.dictionary.com and get yourself an education. Oh, and the BIG gear grinder: People who type “definately” or “defenately” or any other incorrect form of the word DEFINITELY. Fine, forget dictionary.com. AT LEAST use your damn spell check.
*fumes out his ears*

Parents who can’t keep their kids quiet on airplanes
“Thank you for flying So-and-So Airlines. We hope you have a pleasant flight” Pleasant flight my foot! Only if you smother the bawling one year old in the seat behind me with a large pillow. That’ll teach incompetent parents to have kids. Haha! Couldn’t control your child?? Now he’s dead!! You killed him!! Yes, you!! No, not the pillow – YOU!!

"Ladies and gentlemen, since this is an overnight flight, we will now be dimming the cabin lights for those of you who wish to –"
"Waaaaaaaaaa –"

Now I like kids and babies as much as the next man (or woman even, seriously, infants and toddlers are cool) but not when you’re confined to 8 cubic feet for upwards of 7 hours. Come on parents, haven’t you heard of sedatives? Tranquilizers? Darts? Frying pans? Sledgehammers?

No, I have no children of my own. I will no doubt feel terribly guilty and ashamed if I ever read this post of mine as a father, but whatever. Live for the moment, yes? F**k s**t c**k b**ch!!!

Most conservative radio talk show hosts here in the United States
Hannity, Limbaugh, Beck and so on and so forth. Sean Hannity, how I hate you. Sorry, hate is such a strong word, right mother? Sean Hannity, how I really really really really strongly dislike you (to the point of hating you, but who's measuring?). You and your fellow right-wing air wave befoulers are nothing but a bunch of ignorant know nothings, your expensive shirts hardly able to contain your self-importance and misconceived righteousness (and your no doubt large, pasty white stomachs too). Yes, I do listen to you from time to time. When I’m in the mood for FICTION. Oh snap!

People who say "Blame the terrorists"
to rationalize every injustice the "free world" perpetrates upon us and justify every atrocity it commits in the name of "freedom."

*multiple expletives deleted* *post edited for content and clarity* *additional expletives deleted*

*post terminated*

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you sound so un SHayann esque-now there's a word to annoy you-hope you"ve recovered youre usual equilibrium by now- Agony Aunt