Terrific, Heroic & Abstinent

The Columbus Crew (Columbus's excuse for a Major League Soccer (MLS) team - the MLS, by the way, is America's excuse for a professional football league) are playing their home opener this Saturday against Toronto FC (damn Canadians). And there are several of us going to the game, a 4 pm kick off.

Jeff, Clement and some others were planning on going to the Rumba Cafe (near the stadium), drinking excessively, and then walking to the game. But there was a problem. What follows is an email conversation over the course of several hours condensed and presented tastefully for your consumption:

(Sender of email in bold)

Jeff:
Unfortunately the Rumba Cafe is not open until 8pm on Saturdays, so going there and walking to the game won't happen. Plan B is Buffalo Wild Wings, where we can eat, drink and merrily watch sports on many televisions before one terrific volunteer drives us all over to the match (I will start a fund to pay parking for said glorious volunteer).

Clement:
It sounds good to me, but where the hell could we find someone who does not drink ? ahem...

Shahyan:
sigh. Alright fine. I will refrain from drinking on Saturday.

Clement:
Shahyan, you're my hero!

Jeff:
Shahyan..... I was going to have a word with you about your excessive drinking.... I am glad to see you are taking a day off.

So, to summarize:

• I'm a terrific volunteer
  
• I'm a hero
• I will not be drinking on Saturday
• Jeff is pleased with me
• I think I just got my parking at Crew Stadium paid for

Life is good.

P.S: This is funny because I don't drink. I suppose, if you didn't know that, this was kind of stupid. Perhaps it's kind of stupid anyway...

P.P.S: The term "drinking" in this particular post refers to the consumption of alcohol, not the imbibing of water and other such fluids necessary for the sustainment of life.

P.P.P.S: You know what annoys me sometimes? People who write P.S.S. instead of P.P.S. Post post script makes sense. Post script script is just ridiculous.

Labeled

So I haven't been quite so well this past week; a throat situation combined with the kind of coughs that rearrange your insides (well, mine in this case) has rendered me quite miserable.

So, this afternoon, on my first day off in a couple of weeks, I decided to try a little something to get rid of this affliction. I implemented the age old, mother-recommended cure for the dry cough and the congestion: Steam inhalation.

I boiled water, got myself a towel and sat in our lounge. There I was, head bent over pan of water, towel sealing heat in, inhaling deeply and pretending that my face wasn't being singed. Clay and Isaac were in the house, pottering around. Clay was quite intrigued by my cough remedy.

Suddenly, I head him say, "Oh!!" Then stomp stomp stomp as he ran from the kitchen, through the lounge (where I was doing steam) and into Isaac's room. "Hey Isaac!" he said excitedly, "Shahyan's a towelhead!"

And they both found this to be exceedingly funny. It was funny, I suppose, but more weak smile funny than the hearty ha-ha-ha funny that they thought it was...

Oh well, simple things please simple minds, what? This is towelhead, signing off.