Go Away

The title of this post I say, firmly yet politely, to each of the individuals or entities below.

Hillary Clinton
Go away.
Every word out of that – and I hate to demean her gender by calling her a – woman’s mouth is calculated and self-promoting. My stomach churns every time I hear her speak. She wants to be President to be President, nothing more – no values, no stand, no morals. And what’s even more worrying is that an electorate that was stupid enough to re-elect Bush is more than stupid enough to send the ambitious demon thing-in-the-guise-of-a-woman to the White House. *sigh*

Undergraduates
Go away.
It is 1:40 a.m. right now. I would like to be asleep. But we live next to undergraduates. And they are having a “party.” There is drinking, some yelling, blaring music with little or no rhythmic appeal and tons of loud, pointless conversation. There are about 60 people in the backyard of the house next to ours. I bet none of them could muster a 1300 on the SATs (and that’s the new one too, out of 2400). Obnoxious undergraduates who like to drink and be loud with no concern for those around them are a symbol of all that is wrong with America. George W was one, after all. As I said to Clay, I didn’t really like undergraduates when I was one. God, how I hate them now. I mean strongly dislike. Not hate. Not hate. Strongly dislike.

Cristiano Ronaldo
Go away.
Poor Mr. Cry-baby-diving-to-win-free-kicks-with-a-head-too-big-for-his-loser’s-hat needs to straighten out or take a hike. Yes, your footwork is pretty but you’re an arrogant little prat who isn’t above cheating to get ahead. Shame on you. And your whiny, hypocritical, look-at-me-praying-to-the-virgin-Mary-for-redemption act every time you get a card isn't impressing anyone.

Entertainment TV (of any kind)
Go away.
No one cares that someone has new footage of Anna Nicole kissing her son, Daniel (while both were still alive, of course). Also, no one cares that Britney Spears prefers being naked to being clothed. And no one cares that Paris Hilton can’t sing.

Progressive Insurance
Go away.
So Progressive is supposed to quote you their rates and the rates of their competitors so you can find the best deal on insurance with only one call. Turns out, while they’re “saving you the trouble,” they’re actually running a credit report on you and, if they don’t like what they see, they’ll tell you Geico or All State has better rates than they do. I called them when I got my car in 2003. The “helpful” fellow on the line told me All State would be my best bet. Bah. If I ever have a good credit rating, Progressive will not have my business. Ever.

Dick Cheney
Go away.
Seriously now. Is there a person alive (except Cheney himself… well, he’s barely alive, but still) who disagrees with me? Every day of his snarly voiced, crooked mouthed existence is a dagger in the heart of humanity.

Also on the list but not in the spotlight this time, the entire Duke University men’s basketball team (including and especially the coaches); undergraduates; several idiot fundamentalist mullahs back home in Pakistan; people who force their beliefs on others; undergraduates; the anchors, talk show hosts, employees and anyone affiliated with Fox News; those who travel the world, have nice houses and possessions and then complain about being poor; undergraduates; Russell Crowe (seriously, who throws a phone at a concierge?); John McCain (likeable maverick turned senile buffoon… it’s quite sad really); Nicaragua (long story) and undergraduates.

Did I mention undergraduates?