Me > Queen, Britney and Indian Songs

I'm sure you've heard "I Want To Break Free" by Queen (lyrics). If you haven't, go listen to it now. And then come back to finish reading this entry. A long time ago, when I was a wee lad still in school (or what you foreigners call HIGH school), so 8, 9 years ago, a friend of mine and I came up with a Weird Al caliber parody of this song. And, for lack of anything better to write this Sunday afternoon, I present to you the first verse of the song closet environmentalist (and flaming homosexual) Freddy Mercury really meant to write:

I Want To Plant Tree
I want to plant tree
I want to plant tree
I want to plant tree in the ground
It'll be so safe and sound for meee-o
I’ve got to plant tree
Gardeners, Gardeners, I want to plant tree...

I'm sure it goes on. I just don't know how.

And, since this isn't really long enough to be a respectable blog entry yet, here's another of my patented (well, not really, but if you're going to use this for personal gain you better pay me something... in cash, a visit doesn't count) parodies. This was written by me (that's why it's MINE, you see) when I was supposed to be studying for my Mechanics I final (which may explain why I got a low B in the course). The original song is, wait for it, "Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears (lyrics):

Problem One More Time
Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to guess
My method wasn't right
Oh baby baby, I shouldn't have found the stress
The question asked for height
Show me moments of inertia
Tell me baby
Coz I need to solve for resultant force

Mechanics I is killing me
And I
I must confess
I hate machines
When I see plane trusses I lose my mind
Sine or cosiiiine?
Work that problem one more time.

*Note: With clever manipulation of the syntax and some ingenious modifications to obscure binary algorithms, I was able to change the I in Mechanics I to a II and thus use the same song for my Mechanics II course as well.

Alright, fine, just one more. And this is only a two liner. And it's in Urdu/Hindi as well. But don't worry. I'll translate for you illiterate types.

The song is called "Sandese" meaning "Messages" and is from the Indian movie Border apparently, released in 1997 according to my sources (some website or the other). The first two lines were despicably distorted (again several years ago) in honor of one of my school friends who we liked to pretend was obese (even though he was probably just somewhat stocky, you know, well built, a healthy man if you will). The name of the song was altered to "Samose." A samosa is a small fried turnover of South Asian origin filled with seasoned vegetables or meat. And the original lines of the song:

Sandese aate hain
Humein tarpaate hain

which translate roughly (and most elegantly) to:

Messages come.
They make us restless/anxious.

were improved to read as follows:

Samose aate hain
Hum inhe khaate hain

which translate exactly (and most elegantly) to:

Small fried turnovers of South Asian origin filled with seasoned vegetables or meat come.
We eat them.

Hey, in the Third World, to amuse yourself, you do what you have to do.