Monday, November 28, 2005

Touchdowns in the Bathroom

Yeah, so I'm still waiting on the church posting. Stupid life keeps happening, and I have to keep doing stuff to stop it. You know how it goes.

Anyway, today I'm introducing a whole new genre to my already widely varied bloggery: Pottyology. I'm almost certain I'm going to look back on this posting with regret and delete it at some point in the future so enjoy it while you can. It's just that I had one of those Eureka moments yesterday, and I feel the need to share it with my loyal readership which, including my mother is now at, I believe, one.

So yesterday I was answering the call of nature (For those of you unfamiliar with the call of nature, it sounds something like "Rumble rumble, nowhere to go but down and out"... gosh, I'm disgusting.) and I realized that I never left the restroom without converting my "touchdown" (or "try" for you rugby types) as it were.

OK, I'm going to try to explain this without making you throw up. Every time you score a "touchdown" or a "try" you get "more points" because it was for a "longer play" that required “considerable effort.” Then you try to tack on another couple by "converting," for which you get "less points" because it's a "shorter" play requiring "less effort." Now, if you haven't already done so, put on your thinking cap (or bowler hat… haha… Sorry) and convert this to bathroom terminology. Make sense? If not, you're too old to be reading this and you're going to be dead soon so it doesn't matter anyway.

Now my nature answering habits may differ from yours but, personally, there is nothing more unsatisfying than an unconverted touchdown. You're left sitting there wondering what happened to it... has there been a "delay of game"? Why are there no "penalty flags"? No way in hell they're overturning this one...

Once again, I apologize.

4 comments:

Shahyan said...

Interesting, Shahyan. TMI, but interesting.

Anonymous said...

Shayan have you started leaving yourself comments or is this soembody else? By the way after reading the blog i felt i needed to(actually throw up) remind you to include some fiber in your meals. it will surely make the touch downs come easy and the second one will surely follow the first one without any "delay of game".

Anonymous said...

The anticipated 'regret' and 'deletion' sure is taking its time......another difficult 'touchdown'?? Take Twinky's advice...and hopefully that will be end of this 'new genre'. Excuse me while I puke...

Anonymous said...

All I can say is its lucky for mankind that Archimedes' 'eureka moment' was......a bit different!